Post by misticpotter on May 25, 2006 17:40:14 GMT -5
These are funny i got the url from Think Marauders heres the url www.cheyennejade.net/hp/humor.html
Voldemort: Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father, did he?
Potter: He told me enough! <cringes back over the ledge> He told me YOU Killed him!
Voldemort: No Potter. . . I AM your Father.
Potter: You most certainly are NOT!
Voldemort: . . .well I had to try.
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Things a *Real* 12 Year Old Wizard Would Do
Turn that owl into a Hooters waitress
Change Mom into supermodel Heidi Klum, but only for a few seconds at a time. Drive Dad nuts!
Screw thumbtacks -- put a T-Rex in the teacher's chair!
Bring about world peace -- through brutal domination with his minions of large-breasted, booger-firing KoolAidMan-bots
Make sure he doesn't develop carpal tunnel from spending too much time "polishing the magic wand"
Dad's salary: $54,000; Young wizard's allowance: $212,000
Replace quavery voice with authoritative James Earl Jones version. For that matter, why stop at the voice?
In the middle of the concert, impress his friends by casting a "Britney Blouse Removal" spell
Brussels sprouts turn into s'mores the second they hit the plate.
Figure out the best place to put the baseball cards in a broom to make cool motor sounds
Try not to tarnish his reputation. (Oops! That's what a 38-year old Wizard coming out of retirement would do!)
Perform a widespread "nylon-to-cotton-candy" transformation at the girls' swim meet
"I wish I were big -- and not the Tom Hanks kind of big, but the Tommy Lee kind of big."
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The Top Mistakes in the Harry Potter Movie
Harry makes things disappear by chucking them out the window.
Harry is never once shown with owl poop on his shoulder.
What sort of wizard eats his cereal with a fork?
Sure, he's a big Hollywood star and all, but Arnold Schwarzenegger was hardly the right choice for the title role.
Cameo by a confetti-throwing Rip Taylor less than magical.
Pranksters in post-production changed the name on the train to "thingywarts Express."
No hint that young Harry will grow up to be an evil Sith lord.
That's *not* a magic wand in Harry's pocket in the scene where he's called up to the blackboard.
Murderous fire-breathing dragons look suspiciously like goggle-eyed Muppets.
Nowhere in any actual incantation can you find the word "Nantucket."
Annoying little dork is depicted as a witch, rather than a Trekkie.
Every time a character is supposed to say "magic", they're actually saying "magick."
The mistaken impression that anyone over the age of 10 gives a rat's butt.
I deleted some of the ones that i thought where nasty but if you want to read them all then go to the web site.
Voldemort: Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father, did he?
Potter: He told me enough! <cringes back over the ledge> He told me YOU Killed him!
Voldemort: No Potter. . . I AM your Father.
Potter: You most certainly are NOT!
Voldemort: . . .well I had to try.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things a *Real* 12 Year Old Wizard Would Do
Turn that owl into a Hooters waitress
Change Mom into supermodel Heidi Klum, but only for a few seconds at a time. Drive Dad nuts!
Screw thumbtacks -- put a T-Rex in the teacher's chair!
Bring about world peace -- through brutal domination with his minions of large-breasted, booger-firing KoolAidMan-bots
Make sure he doesn't develop carpal tunnel from spending too much time "polishing the magic wand"
Dad's salary: $54,000; Young wizard's allowance: $212,000
Replace quavery voice with authoritative James Earl Jones version. For that matter, why stop at the voice?
In the middle of the concert, impress his friends by casting a "Britney Blouse Removal" spell
Brussels sprouts turn into s'mores the second they hit the plate.
Figure out the best place to put the baseball cards in a broom to make cool motor sounds
Try not to tarnish his reputation. (Oops! That's what a 38-year old Wizard coming out of retirement would do!)
Perform a widespread "nylon-to-cotton-candy" transformation at the girls' swim meet
"I wish I were big -- and not the Tom Hanks kind of big, but the Tommy Lee kind of big."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Top Mistakes in the Harry Potter Movie
Harry makes things disappear by chucking them out the window.
Harry is never once shown with owl poop on his shoulder.
What sort of wizard eats his cereal with a fork?
Sure, he's a big Hollywood star and all, but Arnold Schwarzenegger was hardly the right choice for the title role.
Cameo by a confetti-throwing Rip Taylor less than magical.
Pranksters in post-production changed the name on the train to "thingywarts Express."
No hint that young Harry will grow up to be an evil Sith lord.
That's *not* a magic wand in Harry's pocket in the scene where he's called up to the blackboard.
Murderous fire-breathing dragons look suspiciously like goggle-eyed Muppets.
Nowhere in any actual incantation can you find the word "Nantucket."
Annoying little dork is depicted as a witch, rather than a Trekkie.
Every time a character is supposed to say "magic", they're actually saying "magick."
The mistaken impression that anyone over the age of 10 gives a rat's butt.
I deleted some of the ones that i thought where nasty but if you want to read them all then go to the web site.
